Watch this 3 minute video of Steve Jobs roasting consultants.

He's right...

In 2 weeks, I will have hit my 3 year mark as a consultant. When I first joined, I was ecstatic to get to work with large brands who were serious about investing in product design and development. I never thought I would be "in the room" with such leaders and decision makers so early in my professional career.

Consulting is great on the surface. You get a broad experience of projects with big name companies, but you miss out on the learnings of the work that was done because you're already onto the next client project with a whole new mission.

This is where Mr. Jobs' thoughts on consulting struck a chord with me. In summary, Steve argues that learning is only done when you "own something over an extended period of time, where [you have] to take responsibility for [your] recommendations through all action stages and accumulate scar tissue for the mistakes."

In consulting, the measure of success is based on whether you shipped the product. Did you "finish" the scope of work? In the real world, success is measured by whether or not you solved the problem.

Not owning and experiencing the results of your recommendations is counterintuitive to the process of learning and getting better at your craft. It's a lost opportunity.

Now, I think back to my experience starting TimeStamp. It was my first experience building a product from scratch. I was naive. I was dumb. I made mistakes. But that's exactly why it was the most imapctful work I've ever done. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I cherish that scar tissue. All my experience from consulting combined does not surpass the learnings I experienced from TimeStamp.

I think it's time for a change...

You know that feeling you get when you see someone else carry out a task you’ve done thousands of times, but they do it differently from the way you would’ve done it

Recently, my girlfriend put something in the microwave and button smashed the :30 button until the timer on the display reflected 3 minutes.

I sat there dumbfounded…

I use the 30-second button sparingly. Actually, I use it for one reason: To heat up something for 30 seconds or less. Anything over 30 seconds and I poke the appropriate digits into the keypad in full.

3 minutes? 3-0-0-start.
2 minutes and 30 seconds? 2-3-0-start
1 minute? 1-0-0-start

I’ve never used the 30-second button to build up to a minute mark.

Why does this experience throw me off so much? I design user experiences for a living. I think about user flows and efficiency every day.

And yet, I’m surprised by all the emotions I feel when I experience these moments. I feel overwhelmed, excited, shocked, jealous, curious, defensive, alive…

• Overwhelmed because I fear I might have been doing something wrong my entire life
• Excited because I just saw something so different that I have to ask questions
• Shocked because I haven't seen anyone do that before.
• Jealous because maybe that really is the “right way”

And the list goes on. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.

I came to realize this moment I was experiencing is a special one. One of my things to experience. Especially when it takes place around close friends with whom you have less friction to engage with. These experiences typically end with a comical back-and-forth debate about the “right way”.

It’s so so silly to see how defensive we get about “our way”. As if something big is at stake.

The truth is, and I'd say the best part about this is that there is no “right way”. There are just different ways of accomplishing a task using the resources at hand.

It’s a reason I love UX research and design. It's a never ending experience of discovering and acknowledging the different ways to engage in everyday activities.

P.S: Here's a link to a fun game that gives you the exact experience I describe above. Try it out!
neal.fun/lets-settle-this

I'm currently reading The Lessons of History by Will and Ariel Durant. It’s a history book with a philosophical twist. Each chapter walks through history in the context of a subject: Earth, Biology, Race, Character, Morals, Religion, Economics, Socialism, Government, War, and Growth and Decay.

The authors describe the inevitable trade-offs and the consequences of these trade-offs that arise throughout history. Depending on the subject, the impacts of these trade-offs can be reversible or permanent.

In general, I find it very liberating to know that when X is done, Y will happen. It gives you a feeling of control when you’re aware of the consequences.

It’s the reason why I exercise almost every morning.

It’s a trade-off I choose to make. I choose to sleep a little less in exchange for starting my day in an enhanced mood. I know that if I break a sweat early in the morning, I’m in a better mood and I’ll feel more alive and energized for the rest of the day.

Reading about these trade-offs led me to reflect more on the trade-offs in my own life.

We all consider these trade-offs before making big decisions like choosing which career path to take or deciding where to live, but how many of us actually map out the trade-offs we take on?

As the book explains, these tradeoffs are not one-and-done decisions. They shape our life trajectory, sometimes in permanent ways.

Are we truly aware of the trade-offs and consequences we’re making? Could they be working against each other? I believe it's something to think about and strategize around.

I’ve been lucky to come across incredibly generous individuals who have helped me get to where I am. I’m just feeling grateful and this piece is about giving them recognition and simply acknowledging the profound impact they’ve had on me.

Person #1: Aleta

Aleta was my boss at a part-time job while I was in college. Aleta was a real estate agent who owned a small lead generation business. I was one of those lead generators. My mission? Call people who took their properties off Zillow without having sold their homes, find out why they didn’t sell, and hustle to book a 1:1 call with whatever agent we were generating leads for that day.

**This job was more than a job, it was a crash course in handling rejection. I'll save the details for a future post

Every other Friday, Aleta would invite everyone - a group of 4-6 people - to a 1.5-hour internal “meeting”. This wasn’t your typical work meeting.

During this “meeting”, Aleta would go around the room, one by one, and ask us about our professional and career goals. No therapy talk, just straight-up life ambitions.

Aleta would have us write down our goal on the whiteboard and she’d question us as to why that was our goal. Once she acknowledged and understood the why - she would help us ideate on actionable steps to achieve these goals.

Typical goals?

• “Get my real estate license”
• “Get my bachelor’s degree”
• “Pay off my student loans”
• “Buy a home”

My goal? I wanted to start a business. A time capsule service.

I always had this recurring business idea in my head. The idea of writing a physical letter to your future self. Send a letter or a package. Get it back 5 years later. Before I met Aleta, I was playing around with the concept without any meaningful progress. Let’s just say I was building a site in Wix… Real serious stuff!

I shared my idea with the group that day and Aleta loved it. It was official, that was my one goal.

From that day on, Aleta pushed me (and everybody else in that room) to show up every week and prove to her that we were progressing toward our one goal.

The ask was quite reasonable.

Just start. And keep progressing.

Aleta cared deeply and took it personally when we didn’t make any progress towards our goals on any given week. Looking back now, I can’t believe how generous she was to facilitate this white boarding exercise with us. She cared about her employees’ lives, unlike any boss I’ve ever had.

She didn’t insist on greatness; she simply demanded progress. Essentially, she taught me that consistently showing up week after week can generate incredible momentum and compound your results.

Thank you Aleta ❤️ You’re a fucking legend.

The outcome: TimeStamp.

Person #2: Walter

I met Walter while applying for strength and conditioning internships after college.

This was a tough stretch in my life. Just two months after graduating from college, one of my closest friends committed suicide. He lost his battle with depression.

Understandably, I was in a dark place. I was feeling depressed. I had no energy. I quit my sales job and all I wanted was to hit the pause button on life. I wanted to call timeout on life and just curl up in bed. It took me a few to muster the strength to get up and get outside.

Exercise was my lifeline during this depression. I can't explain why I dragged myself to the gym every day. That’s just how I dealt with my depression.

Exercise was great but I need more to pull me out of this depression. I needed to find a community. Strength and conditioning became that community for me.

I wasn’t aiming to be a fitness trainer. Having been part of sports teams growing up, I just craved the feeling of being part of a team. So I thought, why not join a strength and conditioning staff?

I scoured the internet for entry-level strength and conditioning internships. Luckily, California State University - Northridge (CSUN), a university within a 30-minute drive from was looking for a sports performance intern. To apply, I had to submit a video of myself coaching someone through a deadlift. I grabbed my friend Ali and we shot a video at the gym the next day.

I didn’t know anything about how to coach a deadlift. I watched YouTube videos and regurgitated the directions in a “confident” manner.

Somehow, I got the interview.

That’s where I met Walter. He was the assistant strength coach and sports performance internship coordinator at CSUN. He and 2 other strength coaches interviewed me.

I laid it all out for them: no fancy sports background. A degree in Econ. I knew I didn’t have the ideal resume but I made it clear I had a burning desire to learn and work.

I told them about my friend Reid and how strength training was helping me heal from that experience. I needed this opportunity and I would do anything for it.

Walter called me a day later to tell me I got the position. 6 months after graduating college, I accepted an unpaid internship and I was ecstatic. My family? Not so thrilled.

This internship was a fresh start.

Over the semester-long internship, I dedicated myself to the internship opportunity. I showed up early. I volunteered to stay late and work weekends. I dedicated myself to the opportunity.

It didn’t take me long to fall in love with the art of coaching strength and conditioning. Believe me, it’s an art! I can talk for hours about it let’s get back to Walter.

I applied to the internship to drag myself out of depression into an active, positive community. Thanks to Walter, I got way more.

Like any great coach does, Walter pushed me to grow and he knew exactly when to dial it up or down. He put me through some challenging scenarios but never overwhelming.

When the internship started, I felt like more of a janitor than a coach. Every day, I cleaned, organized, and set up for incoming teams and athletes. Over time, I earned the opportunity to consistently run warm-ups for certain teams and even some full training sessions towards the very end.

Leading teams through training sessions and motivating athletes - to say it was rewarding is an understatement. It’s one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Most importantly, it’s the community I was looking for all along.

I’m so grateful for Walter seeing whatever he saw in me when I walked into the CSUN sports performance weight room for the interview. He took an active role in my growth as a coach and as a person. Like Aleta, Walter showed me the path to achieving success in strength and conditioning. Yes, I did the work to get there but the path forward was crystal clear thanks to them.

Thank you, Walter.🫶🏽

The Outcome: In the months that followed the internship, the following happened in part to Walter’s trust and confidence in me:

• I passed my CSCS certification (on my first attempt I might add) allowing me to take the next step and get paid as a strength coach
• Walter referred me to Real So Cal Soccer Academy - a private sector role coaching strength and conditioning to 10 to 18-year-old boys and girls
• Walter referred me to USC’s strength and conditioning department when they were looking for an intern. I interviewed and got the opportunity
• I became a half-decent strength coach!

Person #3 & 4: John & Jane Doe

(I’m going to combine the next two people into one section because their stories overlap in many ways.)

Shortly after my internship at USC, I made a difficult decision to pivot careers and become a UX Designer.

It was a challenging decision considering I had great momentum earning my stripes in the industry and I had incredible connections with industry-renowned coaches. Regardless, my decision to pivot careers was the right decision in the long term.

I would love to go into why I made that pivot but this piece is not about that.

Ok. I commit to pivoting careers. Now what?

The idea of getting a job in UX design felt like a distant dream at the time. No work experience. No portfolio. I was 24 years old and I didn’t know anything about the design industry. I was just fascinated with UX design and product design and I knew I wanted to be a part of it.

I first discovered the world of UX design back in college while I was working for Aleta. I built a WordPress site for TimeStamp and worked on several small side projects over the years. More recently, when I wasn’t working or sleeping, I was teaching myself Adobe XD.

However, I didn’t have anything to share on job applications. Outside of links to one or two live sites I created, I had no collection of work online that would show I was a capable UX designer and not just a WordPress amateur.

To apply for entry-level UX jobs, I needed a proper design portfolio.

I scrambled to launch a portfolio with the few projects I had. Halfway through, I took on two new projects from family and friends so I could add to my portfolio. Each portfolio had a page that described my contributions during each project and details about the UX strategy, the wins and losses along the way, and things I wish I could’ve done better. Additionally, I wrote a piece about Chipotle and Salata analyzing and commenting on their online ordering experiences. This helped communicate my UX research skills.

In 3-4 months, I had a portfolio and developed more confidence with my recent freelance experiences. I could feel the momentum and was fully expecting to get hired as a full-time UX designer very soon.

Unfortunately, interviewing for UX roles was its own challenge. A skill I had to practice. At this time, I was feeling pressure to get a high-paying job from friends and family. However, nobody put more pressure on me than myself. I needed to figure shit out.

I decided I needed a mentor or coach to help me through this process. As someone who takes pride in being independent, this realization came later than it should have. When I admitted I needed help, things started coming together.

I went on to text, call, cold email every personal and professional resource in the UX or product design industry. That is when two people I’m incredibly grateful for entered my life.

Person 3: Let’s call her Jane

I met Jane through LinkedIn. At the time, she lived in Europe and was a UX Designer for a travel company. I cold-emailed her and was honest about what I was looking for - A mentor to meet with regularly, someone who could give me feedback on my portfolio and interviewing tips. Jane agreed to connect once over a video call and soon after, agreed to connect more.

At the time, design challenges were a popular request made by employers to see how applicants approached a given assignment. Jane reviewed my work on calls and sometimes asynchronously when deadlines were coming up. She delivered expert design feedback that I desperately wanted and she would even give me new ideas to explore further. Again, like any great coach, she delivered what I needed and then nudged me to do more.

Let’s not forget where I was mentally at this time. I was 24. I worked odd part-time jobs after turning away from a promising start to a career in strength and conditioning. It almost felt like I was going backward at times. Friends and family urged me to get any salaried job I could find.

Amongst the mental chaos and pressure, Jane was a constructive voice that allowed me to focus on my progress. Thank you, Jane!

Person 4: Let’s call him John

In 2019, I graduated from the altMBA, a leadership workshop with a unique learning philosophy. One of the best parts of attending the altMBA was meeting people who were incredibly driven, curious, proactive, and passionate about their craft and ongoing work.

The altMBA graduate list is where I found… Let’s call him John.

I connected with John through a cold email. He was a product manager. I gave him the same spiel I gave everybody else. I told him I needed feedback and advice as I attempted to break into the UX design industry.

Like Jane, I met with John over Zoom. One call turned into regularly scheduled calls. He listened to my pain points and provided ways to improve my job search chances.

Again, he didn’t do anything groundbreaking. He just listened and gave me pointed feedback with a little added encouragement.

This is getting repetitive but I really can’t communicate how grateful I am to Jane and John for their acts of kindness. These people are total strangers, one living over in Europe. And they chose to spend their valuable time supporting me, a virtual stranger, to achieve my goal.

The outcome: I’m a UX designer!
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A Sad Admission

I haven’t spoken to Jane or John recently. It’s wild how quickly and how easy it is to forget one’s impact on you. This is an action item for me to reach out and say thank you. I doubt they know how much of an impact they had on me during such a stressful time.

Lessons learned

1. Never forget people who encouraged, empowered, and supported you to be your best self.
   • I get emotional just thinking about how much stress I was in during some of these pivotal moments. You feel the world is against you and no matter how hard you try, you feel like you can’t do it.
   • The fact is you can’t do it alone. These people empowered me to reach that next level.
2. Leverage your community
   • This is something I don’t do enough. I’m an introvert. I stay in my lane. I browse social media but never participate.
   • Despite my default settings, I see how valuable it is to find a community and ask for help. It’s a shortcut too few people like myself consider. You don’t have to do it yourself.
3. Don’t underestimate what you can do for someone else.
   1. Be the Aleta. Be the Walter. Be the John and Jane for someone else.
   2. I mean this. The 4 people I mentioned are people I will remember on my deathbed. They opened doors for me that I couldn’t have dreamed of.
   3. What would it take to be the Aleta, the Walter, the John or Jane Jane for someone else? It might just take a Zoom call.